Van Gogh? Not So Much

I recently completed a continuing education class entitled Art as Therapy. I thought we'd learn about the impact art can have on the brain, the effect of different mediums, etc. but what it ended up being was...well...therapy. It was all about creating some piece of art then listening as each student described their "process" and what feelings came to the surface as they were expressing themselves through that week's medium. Of course this included explanations of personal trials. So it wasn't what I thought I was signing up for (I should have known, I mean it was Evergreen College) but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Well, expect for that one man who acted as if he was so much deeper and more intellectual than anyone in the room. Hmmm....that could describe quite a few of them actually.

Each week the instructor displayed a quote by Vincent Van Gogh. "If you hear a voice within you say, 'you cannot paint,'then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced." Didn't work for me. That voice is still rolling on the ground in laughter but I'm going to make myself vulnerable and post these anyway.

The first week we scribbled with our eyes closed then looked at the paper for something to jump out. This is what I got. Of course the goldfish were not part of my scribbling but everyone else was still working so hard. I needed something to do.

This was followed by looking through magazines for a picture that inspired us. Yeah, that's about the extent of the instruction that day. I pretty much just copied an ad. Freedom of the road I guess.

The next week I didn't quite catch the purpose of the activity. Still don't but this is what my painting morphed into. You might see something similar hanging in a 3rd grade art room.

The next week was my favorite. We were given a piece of clay and told to squish it around with our eyes closed then start from there creating whatever jumped out at us. Mine became a fire which was really fun because as I molded the flames, they kept bending and changing on their own since they were so thin. I liked having the clay take on it's own design just as flames do. As far as it relating to life, change is constant. I don't have a picture of the flame but my next assignment was to make something that symbolized me. That was hard. Maybe I should have just left it as a clump of clay. As I played with the clay suddenly it hit me...

Swiss cheese! I've been going through an important spiritual journey over the last few months. One where I'm trying to understand why I deserve forgiveness when I just keep sinning. Why would the Lord answer my prayers when I fall short in my own efforts? Why hasn't He just said, "Come to me when you are serious about changing"? I want to be better but I keep doing things that I know are wrong--getting impatient with my children, wasting time on meaningless things, procrastinating, giving up on goals, getting upset about stupid things, and just being selfish. So swiss cheese felt like the perfect symbol for me right now considering this journey. I'm all full of holes but that's to be expected in mortality. If those holes were gone, I wouldn't need the Savior. I wouldn't need the atonement. So just like swiss cheese, those holes are necessary and even desired. Oh, and cheese can be really stinky but taste really good. You know, the whole don't-judge-a-book-by-its-cover thing.

The last week we were asked to create something out of a theme we might see in our artwork. I thought of water. In dreams water can symbolize spirituality. And for me right now the bucket is ready to be dropped down the well. It takes a little work but as most of my other pieces display, water is readily available.