Friday was Lucy's first day of preschool. I've been looking forward to this day for months. This is the first time in 11 years that I will have no children at home on a regular basis. I know it's just a couple of hours 3 days a week but I'll take it. Friday morning she woke me up asking me to move her bed away from the wall a little so she could make it. Are you kidding me? And I don't have to pull teeth? Everything she did that morning showed me how much she's growing up. 
As I was driving to preschool I realized that I was actually more excited for her than for myself. (It really should have been that way all along but I have to be honest.) Well, when I dropped her off she ran in with excitement and asked if she could go play. I said yes as I took pictures. Then I just stood there. It's over. The time with her exclusively under my wing is over. I couldn't get myself to walk out of the room. This is not like me. I've always been excited for my children as they move on to new stages. This time I feel different. I'm fighting back tears thinking about it.
Back in the car feeling empty, alone, and bewildered I called Matt at work looking for comfort. No answer. I'll try Mom. No answer. She called right back though. Thank goodness for moms. I don't know what I would do without her. She's always there to listen to what I have to say however shallow it may be all the while dealing with trials that I wouldn't wish on anyone. As I listened to her about what's going on I just sat there not knowing what to say and feeling like my current pain is so trivial. I know she wouldn't want me to say that. She's never made me feel like what I'm going through is trivial but compared to her trials it really is. My mom is an amazing woman who has overcome so much in her life and I don't understand why someone with such a heart to do good would be so limited physically. On the other hand she's the most empathetic listener that you could ever meet. I love you Mom. Thank you for always being there.
So back to my original topic, Lucy had a great time at preschool. She was just as excited to go this morning. I think I've planned about 12 hours worth of things to do while she's out of the house including but not limited to shampooing the carpets, cleaning my closet, cleaning out the garage, washing windows, revamping the budget, and getting rid of unused toys (shhhhh). Nearly all of which I'm not going to do since I'm sitting here at my computer mourning the close of another chapter of my life.
6 comments:
I wondered a year ago what I was going to do when like you my youngest went off to preschool and then kindergarten. Then I was blessed with a bonus baby and I have 6 more years before I have to worry about it. I guess the Lord knew I would be bored to death. I am already missing the idea of finishing some way overdue projects though!
Heather--it really just shows how much you love your kids. Nothing wrong with that. I was shocked last year when Aubrey started kindergarten that I (yes me, of all people) was teary!! As she was climbing the stairs of the bus, a little voice inside my head said, "My baby is going to kindergarten!" And I gushed. But you know what? I sure didn't cry the second day, or one day since . . . =). It's good to feel the emotion, process it, and move forward. Kudos to you for this big step! Life has many more nuggets of happiness.
Ok, first of all WHAT cute hair. Love the bow! I cried when I dropped the boys off because I realized that I only had 3 more years of Ava being home. How pathetic is that! I hear you on the trauma. You think you are going to be so excited...and then the reality hits. Miss you so much!
Heather, you are an adorable mom! I can help in whatever way possible to keep you busy those few hours a week...make me lots of pies! And I say, have at least a few more weeks of computer, tv, or reading time before you jump into those closets! And for goodness sakes, don't shampoo the carpet until at least October! What are you, crazy?
ohhh, you're so sweet. and i agree with jamie computer, tv, and reading is to way to go with your free time:)
Thanks for bringing back my tears and reminding me that we all have lists but end up at the computer:) Good luck with all your time off. I am so happy the girls are together.
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